Shamefully I haven’t posted anything in a month’s time. I guess I haven’t been feeling completely like myself for the last month. I am starting to turn around, tho, so back on board. I was in NYC this time last month, I guess that’s what triggered the ol’ noggin. In a place as exciting and glamourous as NYC, with all those fabulous people dashing around to thrilling places, why would I dare to write a blog about my own experiences?
I felt pretty teeny-tiny coming home to my little city and my little desk in the suburbs.
It got me thinking about how one might inject a little glamour into their everyday lives. I mean, obviously I don’t want to pack up and move to NYC, I love my life here and everything happens for a reason, but sometimes I do wish I could feel a little more cosmopolitan than I do. DP, bless his heart, isn’t always the most … debonair, and with the cottage now, all things city and cultural seem to fall completely beyond his radar. To my benefit, spending time with all of our Francophone neighbours means my confidence in my second language has skyrocketed, so that’s kind of ooh-la-la. In a Quebec kind of way.
It’s hard sometimes not to get caught up in the road less travelled. In Erik Eriksen’s 8 stages of development, the last stage is a conflict between integrity and despair. At the end of the road, you look back over your life. If you find lots of regret, you fill with despair, but if you find satisfaction, you know you lived your life with integrity and you can pass away peacefully.
Like, holy shit. I’m not sure I’ve felt satisfied ever in my life.
How in today’s world with all the choices we’re faced with, all the places we can visit and all the access and wealth we are offered, would we EVER, ever be able to tell what is the right path? I don’t know if a day goes by where I’m not, on some level, second-guessing everything. A peaceful brain, I have not. I suppose at the end of the day it’s not to make sure that we make the right choices, but to have faith in the choices we do make, since every journey is the journey, … etc. etc.
At the same time, I can’t help feeling I would have made a totally kick-ass Lindsay Lohan and that stupid woman threw it all away. Fame and stardom, here I come!!
3yearstothirty 